Maximum Ride: The Unwritten Stories
by Katiebunchesofoats
Summary: Just some little additions to the masterpiece that is Maximum Ride. Faxness is guaranteed!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there friends!**

**This ****one-shot is a _very_ slight Faxness one-shot that takes place during _School's Out: Forever_. I want it in a certain spot, so I'll just say that this would be chapter 61.5**

**Disclaimer: This miracle belongs to the god that is James Patterson**

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><p>Those of you who have been with me and my flock for the entirety of this fun-filled joyride, you know what we <em>would<em> be doing right now, that is, if we weren't all cooped up (get it?) and "safe" in Anne's farm house. We _would_ be flying through the sky at more than 100 miles per hour, kicking eraser butt all across the country, eating the day away, et cetera, et cetera. But nooooooo. Instead, I was stuck in here doing freaking _math homework_ while the rest of my flock was gallivanting outside with Anne near her pretty little pond; well, the rest minus one, but that's beside the point.

Back to my homework situation.

As many of you already know, my feathery compadres and I were mega street smart (making bombs, outsmarting baddies, the usual), but we lacked mucho in the "traditional education" department (uhh...that "t" wannabe means addition, right?). I mean, I didn't need to know the _velocity_ of my punches when I was in a scrap, cause' I was dang sure it'd hit its target, and that's all that matters, am I right?

Anyway, as you can well imagine, I was sitting at Anne's dining room table, head resting on my hands, staring down these numbers, wondering why I hadn't thrown myself out of the nearest window yet. (Though whether I'd snap my wings out or not is still under dispute.)

And of course, the ever-so-helpful Voice was nowhere to be heard. _Sure, when I don't need you, you give me some life-lessons or how-to-save-the-world fortune cookie crap, but when I need you you're as silent as a library._

No answer. Shocker.

Oh, you don't have a voice of your own? They're really easy to come by: just have a megalomaniac inject one into your forearm using a syringe. Fun times, I assure you.

Enough with my ranting; it was time to get off my soapbox.

Now, with all of my pent up frustration about being unable to find freaking "x", you'd think that the flock would've be smart enough to treat my like a hibernating grizzly bear: no sudden movements, _don't_ poke it, and be _really freaking_ quiet. Well, 4 out of 5 of them were; they, as I mentioned earlier, were prancing around the backyard with Anne (la-di-da). The lucky buggers were already done with their homework, and I could've be too, had I not been to prideful to ask for Anne's help; if I could handle a full-grown wolf-man, I can _most definitely_ handle algebra.

And _maybe _it'd be a lot _easier_ if that one member of the flock who wasn't yet done with his easy-as-heck history homework wasn't so gol danged _annoying_. Can you guess who it is? If you guessed Mr. Tall, dark, and red-head-loving, you guessed correctly. Sorry, I didn't give out rewards for right answers, but you could have a free roundhouse kick, if you want.

Didn't think so.

At that moment, Fang wasn't exactly at the top of the list of my favorite people. My favorite people to hurt list, yes, but the former, no. Not after that fight we had last night about my ability to be a mom. Also, the fact that the Red Haired Wonder was spoken of during that dispute didn't help either.

Okay, so I was the one who brought her up; but that was beside the point.

So what is Fang doing, you may ask? Lets get the list started, shall we?

(1) Listening to music so loud that it traveled from the headphones of Iggy's iPod (that Fang "borrowed") to my eardrums.

(2) He's humming along to the music _very _obnoxiously

(3) The pen tapping has _got_ to stop

Yeah, he's _wayyyy_ beyond poking the Grizzly.

"Uhm, Fang?" I almost had to yell for him to hear me over the obnoxious blaring of his music. I had to tightly grasp the sides of my chair to stop myself from flying to the him at the opposite end of the table, ripping the iPod away from him and chucking it across the room.

He didn't even look up from his book. "Yes, Max?" he copied my tone exactly. Not as good as Gazzy, but well enough to make me frown.

My eye twitching slightly, I took a deep breath and spoke steadily, trying my best to control my temper. "Could you turn down the music and perhaps cease and desist with the humming and the pen tapping? Trying to concentrate here."

Not that I cared about math or anything.

He, finally, picked his head up and pulled out his right headphone. He looked at me curiously with his obsidian eyes. I raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking if he was done being obnoxious. He raised an eyebrow right back at me, then put his headphone back in and turned_ up _the volume.

Wait, it got better.

He proceeded to hum _louder_ and to tap his pen against his book, accenting every note. As a final act of defiance, he put his black-booted feet on the table and gave me an insubordinate smirk. _That little twerp._

I returned his smirk, knowing his game. _He wants to play? Fine; lets play._ I let out a low whistle, put my hair behind my ears and smoothed out my papers. "Wow. I didn't know that emo kids are so pugnacious," I said, unable to hold my smirk. _Dang, I'm good. _Of course, making snide, sarcastic comments is my thing.

I adjusedt my hold on my pencil and trie once again to find the ever-so-elusive "x". When I was nearing a mental breakdown, I was yanked from my trance by a sudden crunching noise. I brushed it off as an act of my hyperactive imagination, then blinked quite a few times when I feel something hit me in the forehead.

Uh, what?

I looked up slowly to see Fang all-to-innocently writing in his notebook, a tell-tale grin on his face. I felt my own face falling into a semi-amused scowl. _Okay, now it's war._ I searched around the room until I found Fang's ammo: a crumpled piece of loose leaf paper lying on the floor about a yard from my chair. Quick as lightning, I leaned down, picked it up, then pretended to be working on my homework. I looked up to make sure he wasn't looking. _Target acquired. _I launched the paper ball at his head about five times harder than he launched it at mine.

It hit him smack-dab in the middle of his forehead and landed near the edge of the table. _Target neutralized._ I sneaked a peak at him and saw him narrowing his black eyes at me, obviously trying to inflict fear.

I couldn't help but giggle. My flock was so dang _adorable_ when they were trying to be scary.

I raised my head completely and gave him me sweetest, most charming full-mouth smile. "Trying to burn holes in my head by staring at it? I don't think you've developed laser vision yet. Better luck next time." An accomplished feeling filled me as I saw is face turn red in anger. I let out a momentary chuckle then went back to my math, silently condemning my teacher to the tenth circle of hell.

CRACK! "Ow!" I whispered sharply, my head hurting where the paper ball had smacked into it. I picked up my head and blew a chunk of hair away from my eyes and saw Fang's shoulders shaking with contained laughter.

I clenched my pencil so hard that I feel it break inside my fist. I sighed deeply and release the two pieces of wood. _See what he makes me do? He makes me wreck my stuff. Jerk._ I swiped the discarded paper ball of the table and smile deviously. _Time to play dirty._

I crumpled up two more pieces of paper, _thankful_ that the high volume of his music would block out the crunching noise. _Talk about a change of heart_. I picked up the three crumpled papers and fired them at him, one after another.

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! The papers hit his black-haired noggin with complete accuracy. I heard him grumble with anger, making me grin with satisfaction. I peered up at Fang to see him giving me the universal you're-so-dead-meat glare.

Darn! I wished I had a camera!

I shook my head at him, my sweet smile returning. "Darn, still no laser vision? Keep on truckin' Sparky; you'll get there." I waited a few moments, expecting a scalding retort.

Nothing. No-ting.

"What? I'm not worth a witty comeback?"

Nada. Zip. Zilch.

"Are you serious with thi-" I started, swiveling towards him, but stopped when I seaw an empty chair and an abandoned textbook. "Fang?"

"Yeees?" I felt my neck prickle at the smooth voice coming from behind my chair. I stood up and turned to face him, my brown eyes blazing. He was standing about two feet behind me, his hands behind his back, an oddly familiar cocky smirk plastered to his face. Why did I recognize that cocky smirk? Oh, yeah.

It was _my_ cocky smirk.

I opened my mouth to say something scathing but Fang removed his hands from behind his back and dumped the contents of Anne's paper recycle basket on my head before I could utter a single syllable.

When the basket was empty, Fang let it fall onto my head with a _thump_.

"Oh, geeze! Didn't see you there Max! I'm _so _sorry!" he saids apologetically, but it didn't take much to see that he was full of _crapola._

I pushed the plastic basket off my head, some papers lingering on the snarls of my hair, a witty retort bouncing on the tip of my tongue. I prepared to release it, but Fang's trademark half smile seemed to trap in inside my throat. Unable to speak, I settled for my best/worst scowl, simultaneously trying to remove the lump from my throat and to slow the sudden hyper-drive of my heart.

Fang observed the paper stuck in my already messy hair and his half smile turned to a full-blown smile that could have stopped the rotation of the Earth. Unable to speak, I just stood there like an idiot, my scowl deepening. He took advantage of my speechless-ness and removed the paper from my hair my ruffling it up with both hands.

"Oh sorry, Max! Did I mess up your hair?"

_Okay, that was the last straw_. No, not because he messed up my hair. It was the last straw because he thought that messy hair would bother _me_.

I launched myself at him with a snarl, catching him off guard, though after a few seconds he was fighting back vigorously. Soon the two of us were rolling across the dining room floor. I kneed him in the stomach, trying to get the edge, but he retaliated quickly by sharply twisting my wrist.

_Dang, does this bring back memories._ Back when we were younger, Fang and I would wrestle constantly, one always trying to one-up the other. But now we were bigger, fiercer, and, of course, much more bloodthirsty, so now it was way more interesting.

The advantage switched from me to him then back to me, but eventually he bested me, leaving me pinned by my wrists to the floor while he hovered over me, his knees near my hips. Being genetically engineered to be full-o-stamina, we were barely breathing hard.

"Just like old times, huh Max?" his condescending voice mocked me but his smile made my already-higher-from-wrestling heartbeat go up even higher.

Hold the phone; _He was smiling...he thought he won...his guard was down..._

Hello.

I gave him a smirk I reserved only for charming my way out of a situation, making his guard lower even more. Also, I think his cheeks flushed a _teensy_ bit redder than they already had from exertion. _Interesting._

I arched my back, taking him by surprise. Before he got over his shock, I pushed him off me then flipped over so that our positions were switched. "Yeah Fang," I said, pinning him by his wrists and planting my knees near his hips. He struggled against my grip but was unable to break loose. I leaned over him, my hair falling like a curtain around his flushed face, which was just _inches_ from mine. I grinned, clearly the victor. 'It _is_ just like old times: with _me_ on top."

"Am I, um, interrupting something?" I jerked my head toward the voice to see a very confused Total looking at me like I'd grown two heads.

Ya know, it wouldn't shock me if I had.

"What are you talking ab-ohh..." I blushed furiously, realizing what Total thought that Fang and I were doing. With my face mere inches from Fang's and the way that I was all but straddling him, it would've be weird for Total _not_ to think like that.

Total cocked his head, looking about half as embarrassed as I felt. "Um...should I leave?"

I all but jumped off Fang before standing up straight and brushing imaginary dust off my pants, my face still red. "No, no, it's fine. I was just teaching Fang here a lesson," I said, my voice smooth as silk. I started to walk away with my head held high, being the suave bird girl that I was, but I slowed my pace when I hear Total start talking to Fang.

"Were you and Max just...?" Total started.

Fang chuckled, and I felt my blood boil. "No, no. But I wouldn't blame her if she wanted to," he said, then adds loud enough for me to hear: "The ladies just can't seem to keep their hands off my lately."

An image of Fang kissing the Red Haired Wonder flashed through my brain, making me clench my teeth and fists. I turned around and made my way back to where Fang was still lying on the floor. Taking advantage of his position, I stomped my foot down on his stomach, hard, earning myself a satisfying "OOF!"

"Huh; I guess they can't keep their feet off you either."

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think!<strong>

**-Katiebunchesofoats**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! **

**I have to let you all know that your reviews have made my week ^_^**

**I've decided to turn this into a collection of oneshots (mostly because so many of the reviewers were into it ). Some of the oneshots (not many of them) will be related, so they're kind of like mini series. Most of the oneshots, however, will stand alone, hence the term "oneshot".**

**The second oneshot in this collection is related to the first oneshot entitled "Chapter 61.5 of School's Out Forever"; the second oneshot is called "Chapter 61.75 of School's Out Forever". These two oneshots are now the mini series called "Unwritten Chapters of School's Out Forever", so I guess they're not oneshots anymore **

**~Enjoy~**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this series, Max 2/Maya and Dylan would've already left Fang and Max the hell alone.**

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><p>I've escaped science labs. I've wrestled wolf men. I've beat up creeps who were trying to hurt my friend, Ella. I've roughed up <em>flying<em> wolf men. But there was one thing, one thing, that I, Maximum Ride, couldn't beat. (Although Nudge seemed to never have the same problem).

Knotty hair.

Now I know what you're thinking: _Max brushes her hair? WTH!_ Believe me, this wasn't my idea. Sure, I brushed it a little so I didn't look like I was wearing a mop on my head, but I'd be perfectly fine leaving it mostly un-brushed, a habit I picked up from being on the run. (I apologize to you prissies out there who think packing my mutant run-away bag with hair care products is more important than packing it with, oh, I don't know, _food_?). However, Anne wasn't going to let me walk around with my hair un-brushed, and frankly, I was too tired to argue with her.

So there I was, at my wits end, trying to figure out how a fine toothed comb was going to remove Knotzilla (the name I affectionately called the _gigundo_ knot near the base of my neck). Don't get me wrong, those scientists who injected me with super human/avian DNA didn't forget to give me super human strength, but it seemed like all of my tugging seemed to have been doing absolutely nothing. I sighed in frustration and let the comb fall to the floor of the bathroom, the peaceful alternative to breaking it in half, as I had wanted to.

_Dang, this is hard._ You'd think that removing knots would be easier with wet hair, but with my lack of expertise, it didn't make much of a difference. Maybe the fact that I'd hardly brushed my hair before taking my shower didn't help either.

Anne walked past the open bathroom door and saw my distressed state. "Max, do you need help?" I couldn't quite tell if she was talking about my knot situation or me loosing whatever speckle of sanity that I had left.

I looked at her with a slight glare. "Yeah. Do you have the Bird Kid Therapist on speed dial?" I asked dryly.

She looked at me, confused, then decided to just brush my comment off. _Huh. I guess she's not used to my oh-so-witty comments. Oh well; she'd just have to learn._ Anne quietly picked up the discarded comb and began running it through my hair. I took a few minuets, along with quite a few winces and the temptation to knock Anne's teeth out, but Knotzilla was eventually terminated. When she was finished I ran a few fingers through my knotless hair, the lack of knots bringing a grin to my face. "Ladies and gentleman, Knotzilla has left the building," I said, half to myself.

Anne raises an eyebrow but decided not to question me. _Well wasn't she a quick learner? _She put the comb into the medicine cabinet and turned to walk out. She stopped suddenly and turned back to me. "Max? Could you do me a favor and take your math homework off the dining room table before you go to bed?"

I opened my mouth, about to tell her that I _NEVER_ do _ANY _favors for _ANYBODY_, but closed it and just nodded in response. She gave me a sweet smile and said a quick goodnight before disappearing out the bathroom door. When she was gone, I looked in the mirror, sighing in relief when Eraser Max was nowhere to be seen. I left the bathroom and made my way to the dining room to retrieve my homework, or as I called it, the grown up's way to make Max's head explode into little tiny bits.

I passed by a large shadow in the hallway before I got to the table, double checking to make sure that it was uninhabited. I swept my homework into my hands and prepared to turn around and walk back into the hallway when I heard a slight shuffling noise. I stiffened, trying to remember if the large shadow I passed in the hallway was Eraser-shaped. I tucked my homework under my arm and stood still as a stone, my eyes searching around for any sign of Ari and his goons.

_Crunch_. The small noise behind me made my heart leap. I turned slowly around, my muscles preparing for a fight. I had enough time to see the large shadow move a bit, then to see something flying at my face. It hit my head with a crack, but left no mark, being that the "something" flying at my face was loose leaf paper. The shadow moved again, and I saw a flash of white as it smiled.

"Fang, I swear to every deity on Earth, if you _ever_ freak me out like that again, I will shave your head and give your hair to small animals to use as a coat." 'Cause it's so unlike me to ever think of a normal punishment.

Fang's grin grew at my comment and he stepped out of the darkness. "I don't think the small animals would trust you; you've eaten too many of their cousins."

I grimaced, the thought of eating that burnt desert rat meat again making my stomach churn. I walked past him, being sure to bump my shoulder against him. "Go buy a life at Walmart."

He followed me down the hallway and quickly overtook me, making sure to stand in front of me and block my path. "Can't; I spent all my money bribing Anne so she wouldn't have you thrown in the loony bin."

I put my hands on his chest and pushed him out of my way and he didn't try to stop me. I pretended to be annoyed by his comment, but couldn't stop myself from chuckling. I felt his gaze on my back as I made my way to my room.

"G'night, Max," he said, his voice so smooth and truly genuine that it made me shiver and filled me with an unnamable emotion.

"Throw any more paper at me and it won't be such a good night for you," I responded as I walked into my room, not missing his light, uniquely Fang-like chuckle as he made his way to the opposite end of the hallway to his room.

I braided my damp hair before settling into my bed. I laid with my hands behind my head, trying to be tired but being completely awake and alert. Giving up on sleep and being uncomfortable with the fact that my wings were sandwiched between me and my bed, I rolled over onto my side. I couldn't get that weird, unnamed emotion out of my gut. It was just sitting there, boiling up, getting bigger by the second.

_You know what that feeling is, Max. _

Oh? Look who's here! _Hello there Voice. Dropping some "helpful" knowledge on me again?_

_I'm always here to help you Max, that is, if you're willing to listen._

I rolled my eyes, then realized that the Voice couldn't see me. _Well, Voice, you don't exactly give me the option of _not_ listening._

Nothing.

Oh well, I'll just lay here and ponder my strange, hormonal, mutant teenage bird-girl life.

_Crrreeeeaaaakk. _My eyes darted to the source of the noise, seeing my bedroom door slightly ajar. I rolled back over, content with the thought that I'd been hearing things.

_Wait...I closed my door before going to bed._ All of the nerves in my body snapped into kick-butt mode. I rolled back toward the door as silently as possible to see it still about six inches open. I quietly removed my covers and got out of bed, ready to break the intruder's snout, that is, if it was even an Eraser. I bent my knees and curled my fists, ready to release a whole crate full of canned whoop-ass.

A dark head appeared through the crack, then arms, then a torso, then legs. The intruder barely had time to watch the hallway behind him as he shut the door before I was upon him.

He was a scrappy sucker, I gave him that much. But then again, I'm a bloodthirsty adolescent mutant girl, so he never had much of a chance.

He wasn't insanely hairy, so maybe I'd attacked him before he could morph. He could also have been something completely different from an eraser, but I didn't want to open that barrel of endless possibilities. There was no end to what kind of mutant this baddie could have been.

He fought back immediately, trying his best to push me off me. I pushed him down with both of my hands and feet before head butting him for good measure. His grip on me released enough for me to hold him down with even more force. I see his head fall back and hear the thump as it hits the floor.

"Geez," he muttered, trying to pull his hand from me to rub his head. "Whatever happened to the element of surprise?"

I felt my eyes widen about thirty times their normal size. Why did he, I mean what's wrong with him?

"Fang?" I gave him my you-are-so-beyond-dead glare and made sure to make my face form my angriest scowl.

He opened his mouth, probably to give me a snide retort. I raised my fist and prepared to smash it down so I can absorb it, but I was interrupted by the lights of my room flashing on and the door opening as far as it could.

"Hey Max, I was wondering-" Anne stops mid-sentence and looked me and Fang over a few times.

What is actually going on: I'm about to kill Fang for trying to go all sneak attack on me.

What Anne sees: Max and Fang are two teenagers, alone, in the dark, and are practically on top of each other.

"_What_ is going on in here?" Anne sounded so much like a real mom that I wanted to knock her lights out right after I was done with Fang.

I heard a slight shuffling noise behind her before a small black nose pushes its way into my room, followed by a small black and brown body. _Well, crap_.

"Seriously." Total sat down and started to scratch himself behind his ear. "C'mon guys, it isn't even Spring yet."

I saw Anne's eyes widen as she looked between us and Total. I heard Fang's airy chuckle beneath me. I sighed.

_I wonder what roasted mutant dog tastes like..._

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><p><strong>Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews, and please keep them coming! It's nice to know that I touched all of your funny bones ^_^<strong>

**-Katiebunchesofoats**


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